An Alternate Route

I’m not a fan of New Year’s. The day. The resolutions. The parties. A multi-million dollar ball falling from the sky. I dislike the entire idea, really.

I also don’t make New Year’s resolutions. While I realize that having a uniform time (once per year) to recap the past & determine the future can be helpful, I think New Year’s resolutions rarely resolve anything. Many never happen. And some never even come close.

Resolve whatever you want, whenever you want

If you have an idea in March… or decide you want to do something in June… or stop doing something in September — DO IT THEN. Don’t wait another 6 months & 27 days until January 1st. That’s ridiculous.

With that being said, I have compiled a list of things I’d like to work on in my life. Some have already begun; others are just getting started. And there are no timelines. I might complete one or more of these things tomorrow. Or maybe not until 2014.

2012: A year of selfishness

What a horrible way to think, right? Not necessarily. Let’s be honest. We’re all selfish to some extent. And those who know me would attest that I’ve been pretty unselfish these past 27 years. I’ve put favors ahead of sleep. Friends ahead of exercise. I still say yes way more than I say no.

This year, I say no. No, to the favors. No, to the commitments. No, to the organizations. No, to the call for donations.

And I say yes… to myself. Yes, to my ideas. Yes, to my health. Yes, to my wallet. Yes, to my future.

Saying yes to myself now will allow me to do favors, make commitments, help out with organizations & give donations later. But I must get moving on the things I want to do.

Here’s what I say yes to

• Send more birthday cards
• Apply to be on Fear Factor
• Stop talking so much about doing things… and actually do them
• Appear on the Ellen DeGeneres show for catching food in my mouth
• Learn to do a backflip
• Learn to walk on my hands
• Consistent. Morning. Workouts.
• Visit Colorado
• Go skiing out West (somewhere… anywhere)
• Stop being so much of a perfectionist & just deliver the goods (even when they’re not perfect)
• Write a spoken word poem… and perform it in front of a group of people
• Do a better job of calling friends, especially around important life events
• Putting romantic relationships over work
• urbanSMACKDOWN (Get ready. It’s coming…)

PS – I just printed out the list. I’m hanging it in 2 places in my apartment.

PPS – If you know me, and you see me blowing an opportunity to fulfill what’s on this list, please intervene.

Dear Better Half,

I love you and all, but I’m really not sure how you got your name.

Sure, we do things together. Live together. Make babies. Raise children. Buy stuff. Even have the same last name. But what part of that makes you better than me?

We also make mistakes. Fail. Help each other out. cry. Laugh. We both have our ups… and our downs. And we are both there for each other when the other needs it.

Please don’t take offense. You’re awesome. I mean that. That’s why I’m spending the rest of my life with you.

Here’s how I see it. Part of why we go so well together is the fact that we are both awesome. And neither one of us should take any of that away from ourselves by settling for the lesser half.

Sincerely,
Your lesser other half ;-)

I’m not the next iron chef, although I am improving in the kitchen. Either way, I like to have fun. And when I’m making smoothies, cooking dinner or just grabbing a bowl of cereal… it’s no exception.

Do a spin move from cabinet-to-cabinet. Flip your silverware in the air a few times before it lands in your cereal. Dance, and laugh at your reflection in the microwave.

You might get a few weird looks from your roommate (or husband/wife/kids), but 1) they’ll get used to it soon, and 2) who cares… you’re having fun :-)

It’s OK just to be a runner. To run for 10 minutes. Run for an hour.

It’s OK to say no to GPS, and just wear a simple Timex. And it’s also OK not to use it—or run naked, as we call it.

I’ve always loved running for its simplicity, yet there has never been anything simple about running an ultramarathon.

• you have to plan for everything, and pack tons of stuff just in case
• figuring out how to stay hydrated has always been a nightmare for me
• blisters on my feet
• nipple chafing
• (relatively) expensive race fees
• navigational challenges

The race that changed things

The Finger Lakes 50 in up-state NY changed the way I thought about ultrarunning.

I was running with my new friend, Jeff, from Niagara Falls, NY for a good portion of the 1st loop, and the beginning of the 2nd loop. It was when we separated 2/3 of the way through the 2nd loop where things started running through my head.

See, when you’re running with friends, you get caught in conversation. You concentrate on the topic at hand. In other words, you are distracted from the main activity you are doing — running. Just like being on the phone while driving.

But there isn’t always someone to talk to. And if all you’re looking for is engaging conversation, there are 6.5 billion people in the world & hundreds of thousands of Starbucks. You certainly don’t need 50+ miles to form, or improve upon, a friendship. (It does, however, make the story a bit more interesting)

The nagging question

So once again, I found myself alone, in the middle of the woods, legs burning, sweat dripping down my face, hopelessly swatting gnats, with a slight headache from dehydration. Nothing groundbreaking. This is standard for just about every ultramarathon out there. And once again I found myself asking the same question.

Why am I doing this?

I’ve never had a perfectly scripted, eloquently delivered answer to this question. Usually it was along the lines of, “because I love the experience” or “to see if I can do it” or “to test my limits & inspire others to do the same.”

I still can’t tell you exactly why I’ve been running ultras for the past few years, but I came to a life-changing realization out in the middle of the forest this weekend.

Tunnel vision

I’ve had tunnel vision with this goal to complete a 100 mile race. Somehow I convinced myself that it’s the only goal that matters. That until I complete it, I can’t move on with the next chapter of my life.

It’s like the 9-yr-old boy who wants to be Justin Bieber before he realizes all the stuff that comes with it. That’s his idol. He caught Bieber Fever, and nothing is going to stop him from living that lifestyle. Until…

…the fever breaks. (and yes, even Bieber Fever will eventually break)

Losing sight of goals

That’s pretty much what happened to me—with ultrarunning. I looked up to these guys completing insane acts of endurance, and I set out to achieve nothing short of the same. In fact, my over-achieving, perfectionist attitude had me believing I could one-up these guys. That I could do things even they couldn’t do.

But again… why?

I don’t have anything to prove – to myself, or anyone else. I don’t have to run 100 miles in order to say that I’ve accomplished something. I’ve already run more than twice as far as I ever thought I could. And I’ve even done that on 3 separate occasions.

The other stuff

This stubborn ignorance had me ignoring the other great parts of my life that are happening right now. I run my own successful business, and have for almost 2 years now. I just hired my first employee. I want to travel & explore the world. I’m moving downtown to begin creating the lifestyle that I’ve been aimlessly avoiding for the past 4 years.

I can be ultra in all of these areas. So I can leave the ultra out of running for now.

My future with ultrarunning

It was a little difficult when I first came to the decision to give it up. Anything you pour that much time & effort into, is naturally tough to walk away from. But in less than a week, I’ve come to terms with it.

I don’t know if I’ll do another ultra again. But right now, I’m just not thinking about it. I want to go back to the simplest, most pure form of running. Enjoy each run without worrying about hitting a certain mark or training for an upcoming race.

I can assure you, I still have an enormous amount of respect for the ultrarunning community. It’s an amazing group of people, with a ridiculously high level of determination & grit. Lots of interesting stories. Truly genuine folks.

I’ll still support my friends who run them. I might even run with them—for part of the race ;-)

Happiness is

I sat down next to my parents after I quit the 50-miler 2/3 of the way through, and I’ll never forget what I said.

I’ve never been more excited to quit something in my entire life.

There were always bits & pieces of ultrarunning that made me happy. Little things that I enjoyed. But with something as demanding as an ultramarathon, there should be more than just a little. Ultimately, I wasn’t enjoying this enough for it to justify all the things it was depriving me from, not to mention the pain it put me through (each and every time, without fail).

I think I’ll be a happier person without ultrarunning. There will always be things I miss, but if I did everything that had some appeal to me… well… I’d need so many hours in a day you’d have to stop the Earth from rotating for a few years.

Here’s to the next chapter…

“I want to be thoroughly used up when I die.”
- George Bernard Shaw

Phew! I didn’t realize I could run that fast.

This was the first race I can remember where I told myself going in, “Go all out & see what happens.” Realistically, if I pushed myself too hard, I could’ve bonked, and had to walk it in. Basically, I was operating under the all-or-nothing principle.

The Start

I started in a lead group with about 10 others. Since there was no chip timing, I really wanted an even start with the best of the best. It would also be nice not to weave through people on the single track. And I figured I would push myself harder if I ran with the leaders.

The Lead Pack

A lead pack of about 12 started to develop. After 4 or 5 minutes, I quickly realized I couldn’t hang with their pace. I was probably doing low 7:00s, but these guys were easily in the 6:00s. And they had it on cruise control.

I tucked myself into the back of that front group, and found a pace I was comfortable with.

The Ruins… didn’t ruin anything

The infamous Myan Ruins came early on (I think to everyone’s liking). If they made us climb those things in the latter part of the race… well, that would just be wrong.

I usually take them very slow, careful not to waste too much energy. I crawled up them pretty quickly, staying in control. 5 seconds of walking was still needed at the top, to quickly regroup.

Buttermilk

I’m no stranger to this part of the course. I’ve run Buttermilk more times than I can count. Some days have gone well. Others… not so much. But I knew the trail, it’s baby hills, turns, roots, rocks, and short but steep descents. I ran hard. I ran well.

The Internal Conversation (aka: Forest Hill Park loops)

Being the first race I’ve ever gone all out, my mind kept playing tricks on me. An internal conversation ensued. Confidence vs. Self-doubt.

Slow down. You’re going too fast.

Keep pushing. You’re faster than you think.

Keep drinking. Don’t get dehydrated. It’s ridiculously humid out here (That last part is 100% true. No bones about it.).

You got this. Legs feel good. No cramping. Keep doing what you’re doing.

For 6 miles, I went back and forth. Luckily, Confidence prevailed.

10k Support

Through Forest Hill, we started to see some of the 10k runners who started 30 minutes after us. They were incredibly supportive. And quite mobile, making every effort to get out of the way so I could pass. Thanks guys.

Rock Hoppin’ River Crossing

I probably lost a little time jumping rocks across the river. I navigated it well, taking the shortest path possible, but I put on the brakes just slightly. I was running a near perfect race so far, and the last thing I needed was to bite it on a slippery rock, or twist an ankle.

I even waited patiently for two 10kers to climb the ladder onto Belle Isle. My old racing self would have climbed the wall, but I’m glad I waited. It provided a brief rest, and it was the gentleman thing to do.

Belle Isle

It’s really more like a small mountain in my opinion, but you can call it what you want. Pretty much a straight shot up to the top, a few hundred yards across, and switchbacks right back down.

As soon as we came down, I knew precisely how far until the finish. And for the first time in a while, I looked down at my watch. 6 minutes left to break 1:40.

It was time to see what I had left in the tank.

Tank. Full.

How, I have no idea. Well, I’m sure adrenaline had something to do with it. And I knew there were no more hills, so it was game on to the finish.

Up the ramp to the footbridge, blinker on, get in the left lane, pedal to the floor. At this point, my breathing sounded like a 200lbs wild animal of some kind. My form might also have mimicked that of a wild animal, although I was trying to keep it together. Sometimes I just get too excited.

Home Stretch

Down the footbridge, onto Tredegar St, pedal still on the floor. I might have eased up just a bit for 10 seconds. I needed to make sure I had something for a sprint finish.

Smiling on the Inside

I had a look of pure anguish on my face. I usually throw my tongue out at this point too. Arms pumping. Lungs working overtime. Eyes squinting. I looked like absolute hell, but I was smiling on the inside.

The Finish

I blasted through the finish in 1:39:29 (a 7:37 pace). On that course, with those hills, and that humidity… very respectable.

12th overall, and actually 3rd in my age group. They gave me a medal. That’s never happened before.

Post-race

I saw a guy I recognized from last week’s 50k. We talked for a while. Real nice guy. From Montana. Going to school in Winchester, VA. Nice to meet you, Rob. Thanks for the conversation.

We stuck around to watch a few more friends finish. I stuffed my face with muffins, and devoured a dozen orange slices. Misting tent. Porta-potty. And lots and lots of deep breaths. Phew! That was awesome.

The Takeaway

I sit here now, 60+ ounces of water later, an ice bath, self-massage, cold shower, protein shake, and just flat out laid down for 30 minutes. And I feel good. Real good.

The human body is an incredible machine. If you treat it right… listen to it… give it what it tells you it needs, when it needs it… it’s capable of some pretty incredible things.

If you don’t believe me, please test it out. You’ll be pleasantly surprised with what you discover.

And you did.

4 days. 33 hours. 2 states. 3 parks. 2 dogs. 1 headstand contest. 6 new Pandora stations. 1 hammock. 2, maybe 3, incredible iTunes playlists ;-). Phone chemistry. Glow bracelets. A late night truck stop. The insect attack of the century. A bottle of champagne that we never opened. My least favorite breakfast spot in the South.

And 1 really. difficult. conversation.

You said it more than once. “I will change your life.” It wasn’t a dead serious, groundbreaking kind of changing your life. More of an I’m-kind-of-joking-but-not-really, semi-serious, you-might-not-realize-it-now-but-it’s-true kind of way.

It was often accompanied by a playful smile, almost a smirk, as if to keep me wondering, “Is this girl for real?”.

We spent time together on 4 separate occasions. 4 dates, if that’s what you’d prefer to call them. And how much can someone honestly change your life in 4 days? It’s a valid question, for sure. One that I asked myself several times on the car ride back from Gaston.

Well, day 2 was the best conversation I can remember having in a long time. And as far as dating goes, maybe the best ever for a 2nd date.

Day 3 we set a world record for longest 3rd date. 7+ hours. We also did it with no agenda, no plans, no bug spray (huge oversight), and for the last 3 hours, no light (it gets pretty dark in the woods). And all of this on a work/school night.

Day 4 we spent nearly 20 hours together. No break from each other, other than a few hours of sleep. I met her dogs, her students, her colleagues, and the sweet Italian woman at the only Italian restaurant in her town.

I could go on and on about all the things we crammed into 4 dates. It’s an impressive list. But the more impressive thing is that in 4 days, she really did change my life.

Those who know me know that I am a bit of a perfectionist. Those who know me even better know when it comes to girls, I can be very selective. And the crazy thing about this girl is…

The only thing wrong with her is that she can’t keep her tube of toothpaste clean.

Yeah. I think I can get over that.

Yesterday, we said goodbye. Not goodbye for good, but goodbye for now. A little thing called timing got in the way of a great opportunity.

Although I might have made that last conversation seem easy, believe me, it wasn’t. You know how Murph & Kota looked when they thought you were leaving them? The same thing was going on inside my head (I just don’t have Murph’s puppy face to illustrate my feelings).

And if timing can so easily, and so quickly, break something apart, I’m really hoping it can put it back together again. (Humpty Dumpty, we need ya, bro.)

Here’s to our next adventure…

As I exited the grocery store tonight, I walked past a middle-aged couple. I hesitated before I did, thinking it might not be polite to breeze right by them in the narrow aisle. But I was in a hurry, and…

It looked like they were in pain when they moved. Seriously, they struggled to put one foot in front of the other.

I don’t know their story. Maybe they have a perfectly good explanation. But let’s be honest. They probably don’t.

I’m assuming they don’t. It will help get my point across.

Letting yourself go

Here are two folks who just let themselves go. Somewhere along the line, they just accepted the fact that they were going to get old, gradually slipping into the stereotype we place on all elders in our society. They’re old & slow. Their joints ache. They’re always forgetting stuff. Medication becomes the daily routine (if they remember to take it).

I know. I know. There are physiological changes that take place with age. You can’t prevent some of those things from happening. You can’t deny science.

I say !&#% science.

(and I even have a degree in Exercise/Sport Science)

What if we’ve just been brainwashed since birth to believe that’s how it’s supposed to work?

Never let anyone tell you it’s OK to just accept something.

This question came up in conversation the other day. And I answered it… truthfully. It was an interesting (and very brief) look back at the 2 previous & 1 current stage of my life, and why I am still single.

I feel as though this is a question where you typically get 1 of 2 things. Either they lie & you don’t get anything remotely truthful. Or the 1 out of 100 that do tell the truth… you find out the truth is pretty scary, and there is a reason why they’re still single… and it’s frightening.

My response is neither a lie nor a frightening physical deformity.

In high school, I was kind of a player. I loved the attention from whoever was willing to give it to me. Immature? Absolutely. Lesson learned? Yup.

In college, I wasn’t willing to commit. I didn’t realize that a relationship took time, effort, sacrifice & commitment… and lots of it. Selfish? Very. Lesson learned? It took a while, but yeah, now I get it.

Post college to present day… I haven’t met a lot of new people. I let work consume my life for the first 2.5 years. Then came running, and I got over-competitive. Tunnel vision set in. My social life took a back seat. Lesson learned? Well, I’m still working on this one, but I have been making improvements.

With all things in life… you get to make choices. Relationships are no different. In looking back, I haven’t made a relationship a priority in my life. And the consequence of my choice is simple: I’m single.

Now that I know why, I can make the choice to do something about it. Here’s to change…

Here’s an idea…

With gas prices getting as high as they are, people won’t want to drive as much. Well, airplanes use gas too, so that will probably make flights more expensive as well. The solution…

Solar & Wind-Powered Airplanes

You can’t tell me no one has thought of this yet. With all the hybrid & electric cars out there, a scientist somewhere has to be working on alternative sources of energy for airplanes, right?

The argument for solar power

Aside from spaceships, they are the closest human-driven moving objects to the sun (that I’m aware of). They’re 10,000 feet closer to the sun than anything else on Earth. The main thing that blocks the sun from hitting us on the ground is clouds. And heck, half the time planes are above the clouds. Seems like a valid argument to me.

The argument for wind power

Well, this seems pretty obvious. They are moving at 600mph through the air! Why not use all that air for energy?

I’m not a scientist. Or a pilot. But this just seems too obvious not to happen in the next few years.