An Alternate Route

I’ve been thinking a lot about relationships lately. Mainly,

• How I’ve treated them in the past
• Their importance in my life
• How I’m trying to improve them

Why am I thinking about relationships in this way?

• I’ve lived by myself for the past 2 years, and at times I get bored & lonely
• I don’t have a lot of friends in the Richmond area
• There are important events happening in the life of my friends, family & loved ones
• I’ve been exploring the online dating scene, and have had a few interesting encounters

All of this has led to my decision to try to improve relationships in 3 main areas of my life:

1. Family relationships
2. Friend relationships
3. The girlfriend relationship

Improving family relationships

Growing up, we never had big family gatherings. My family was somewhat spread apart, up and down the east cost. Several divorces & fallings out led to complicated relationships that I didn’t even understand until I started asking questions in college.

With age comes appreciation

As I have gotten older, so has the rest of my family. Health issues have arisen. And in some cases, even death. With more practical life experience, I understand these things at a much higher level than I used to. I’m much more appreciative of my family & close friends.

They’ve sent me a birthday card every year for the past 26 years. They attended hundreds of baseball games when I was growing up. They’ve donated money to charity on my behalf. Every time they see my parents, they don’t leave without asking how I’m doing. Bottom line: They care. They always have cared. And they always will.

Unconditional love

I used to think this was some stupid cliché. Now I understand what it means (well, I’m starting to, at least). We all need people to care about us & be there when we need something or someone. If you can’t count on family, who the heck can you count on?!

It’s the thought that counts

I used to hesitate before calling my relatives & close family friends. I thought, since I have never talked to them on the phone before, and haven’t spoken to or seen them for a few years, it would be awkward. I wouldn’t have anything to say.

All the while I’ve been missing the point. They don’t care if I say nothing at all. Just the fact that I picked up the phone means the world to them. Most of the time they’re the ones asking all the questions. They want to know how I’m doing. Just to know I was thinking about them… that alone can make a huge difference.

Improving friendship relationships

I haven’t made many friends in Richmond. I chose to put my job first. And for many years, running second. This left no time for hanging out, meeting new people or socializing with friends. It was all about working & running. That was it.

You don’t miss it until it’s gone

Recently, I’ve come to realize the importance of friendships. I miss the interaction with other people. While I do need some alone time to recharge, there are many times when I thrive in an environment with ample human interaction. I get into this fun zone, where I’m about as happy as one person can be. I can’t ignore that feeling. And I certainly don’t come anywhere near it when I’m alone in my apartment.

Selfishness

The more time I spend by myself, the more selfish I become. If I’m not spending time with other people, I don’t think about other people. This is clearly not a good habit to start forming.

Opportunity

I’m actively looking for opportunities to get out more. Just being out with other people, regardless of where we are, what we’re doing or who I’m with, will help get me back to where I need to be. My life is missing a little piece right now, and these new opportunities will help fill that void.

Improving the girlfriend relationship

Until recently, I was clueless about relationships. Again, it was working & running that gained all my attention. And while I still thought a relationship was possible with my one-track mind, it didn’t stand a chance.

Relationships take time, effort & sacrifice. Any extra time went into my running. And sacrificing my job or a big race… ha, forget about it. Just wasn’t happening.

Single forever?

Once I came to the conclusion that I don’t want to spend the rest of my life being single (which didn’t take long at all), I realized I needed to make some changes. While I still love my job, and spend many hours/wk running & training, I’ve created room for a third priority… a relationship. And I’ve even vowed to sacrifice parts of my job and/or my training to make a relationship a real possibility.

Online dating

I’ve met up with a handful of women I met online. With each experience, I’m learning something. I’m mainly interested in learning things about myself: my turn-ons & turn-offs, how I communicate, what kind of person makes me happy, etc. What I’ve also learned is that very few people I’ve met communicate in the same way I do… and that can be really confusing (for both sides).

Never stop exploring

This is The North Face‘s tagline. While they use it in reference to outdoor adventures, I’m using it in a slightly different way. I’m in the midst of an interesting time in my life. One in which I’m exploring myself, as well as the relationships in which I participate. This exploration has led to a new understanding of my life, one in which I’m sure will continue to change as I continue to explore.

Why even bother?

Today, it’s absolutely beautiful out. Some might say Fall is finally here. And they might be right.

But we have no idea what tomorrow will bring. We don’t even know what will happen later today.

Here’s my approach to the weather:

Just let it be. Let it happen. We, as human beings, will never be able to control Mother Nature. So it’s a waste of time to spend any energy on even thinking about it.

It will get cold, and it will warm back up.

Leaves will change colors, fall off trees, and eventually grow back.

The weather will ebb. And it will flow.

When it rains, accept the fact that it is raining. Don’t complain. Don’t wish for it to be sunny. Go outside & get wet. Or stay in and watch a movie. But understand that rain is a natural occurrence, and a necessary one for Planet Earth.

I try to ebb and flow with Mother Nature—enjoy her ups and downs the same as she does.

In the end, we’re all a part of this planet, and we’re all in this together. Just as we’ve learned to get along with other human beings to create a civilized world, I believe we should do the same with Mother Nature.

I was asked by Elon University’s student newspaper, The Pendulum, to write a few articles about life as a young alumni. This letter is about defining success, especially when you’re not getting As & Bs anymore.

Dear Ask the Alum,

Right now, I get a grade for everything I do. Either I do well enough to pass, and I get to shake Leo’s hand at graduation, or I don’t, and my parents strangle me for wasting $100k on an education I apparently never received. If jobs don’t give out grades, how do I know if I’ve passed or failed?

Sincerely,
Straight A Student

Dear Straight A Student,

I wouldn’t go repeating this to your parents (or your professors), but grades are overrated. Many of you would do better without them.

With grades, everyone is on the same playing field. They give us a standard way to define success and failure. However, there are two problems with this:

1. Everyone is not on the same playing field. Life just doesn’t work that way.
2. There is no standard definition for success and failure. They are defined by you, the individual, not the dictionary.

This is a new way of thinking for most of you. You’ve lived your entire life up to this point being graded on a common scale – the same scale that everyone around you was using.

Now, the grades are gone, the scale has been lifted, and you are free. Free to study whatever topic is of interest to you. Free to work as hard as you’d like, toward whatever goal you are trying to achieve. And free to be your own judge of success and failure.

But let me warn you. While it’s a liberating experience, it’s not easy. There’s a reason why grades have existed for as long as they have. So how do you know if you’re working too hard, or not hard enough? How can you tell if you’ve succeeded in making a difference? Or perhaps failed miserably?

I can’t answer those questions for you. But here’s a fundamental difference between grade school and the rest of your life:

You get an F in grade school, it’s always looked down upon. You encounter a failure in life, and it might just be the single best thing that ever happened to you.

Sincerely,
The Alum ’06

I had a great conversation with Danielle Durst the other day. For 90 minutes we discussed many topics, one of which was the distinction between power & influence, especially when it comes to leadership styles.

Each style can be used as a way of creating change, but Danielle and I agreed that one method is far better than the other.

Powerful leadership

Power has a negative connotation. Power is often associated with violence, greed, popularity & selfishness. When you think of powerful leaders, or just powerful people in general, they are often not the most well-liked individuals.

Powerful leaders make the decision for you. They tell you what to do. And if they get enough people to listen, they are successful in creating change.

One common idea that all human beings share is responsibility – in this case, the ability to choose our response.

Our resistance to powerful leadership

Our life is a series of choices, and with each choice, we face consequences. Sometimes good, sometimes bad. But one thing is for sure. We want to make our own decisions.

We are (and always have been) resistant to power. As a kid, when your mom exhibits power to get you to do something, you resist. You do the opposite just in spite of her. (well, that’s what some of us did)

Powerful leadership takes the decision out of our hands.

The powerful approach is tactically more difficult. You only have one person leading the charge. Everyone else is following along blindly.

Although tactically more difficult, it is often the more commonly used leadership style. An alternative is influential leadership.

Influential leadership

I prefer influential leadership. When you lead with influence, you put the decision back in the hands of the people. They get to choose for themselves. You just help steer them in the right direction.

This is emotionally more difficult because it requires us to relinquish control. We can’t be sure they will agree 100% with our beliefs. When you believe strongly in something, it’s often difficult to imagine things turning out any other way than how you had planned. This takes strength, patience & trust.

So how do you practice influential leadership?

Lead by example. Be there for people, especially when others are not around. Do the right thing. Smile. Exude confidence in everything you do & everywhere you go.

Listen. Take a step back. Let someone else have all the attention. Don’t speak, just act. Listen some more. Engage others in conversation. Ask questions, don’t provide answers.

There are many ways to practice influential leadership, and there is no one single recipe for success. I do hope you will give this some thought, and try a few things above. I believe it will make you a better leader.

All this “real-time” talk has to stop. It’s becoming one of the most annoying, overused buzz words of “ALL-time.”

Real-time communication, real-time search, real-time stats, real-time updates… everything’s in real-time now.

You know, email is real-time too… if you’re checking it constantly.

It started with Twitter, but Twitter was meant to send & receive text messages on your phone, thus the 140 character limit. The problem is that most of us use Twitter on a desktop or web app. And even if all messages do get sent to your phone, what if you put your phone in the other room, or just choose to ignore it for an hour or two – you know, so you can actually get some work done.

Twitter isn’t real-time unless the person receiving the message gets it right away too. If I don’t check my twitter feed for 2 days, you can DM and @-reply me all you want – it’s still not “real” time. It’s whatever time I decide to read it.

Communicating in real-time requires immediate attention from both sides. There is no such thing as 1-sided communication. Just because you send the initial message immediately doesn’t make it real-time. I have to receive it immediately.

If a tree falls down in the woods, and no one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?

Sure it does. It makes a sound. A loud sound (especially if it’s a big tree). But it’s not communicating because there is no-thing/no-one on the other end. So does the sound occur in “real-time?”

Yeah, I guess. I mean, really though, who cares? What does real-time even mean anymore? Every new product, new app, website, etc. – they all keep touting they offer “real-time” communication. Well what’s the alternative? What did we do before the term “real-time” became popular? Were our communications delayed? Or even worse, were they occurring in fake-time? Artificial time?

If I want true “real-time,” I’ll do something Alexander Graham Bell did long before Facebook, Twitter & Google ever existed—I’ll pick up the phone & talk to them.

Hey. I wonder why we never called that “real-time”…

PS – Did you know? In retrospect, Bell considered his most famous invention an intrusion on his real work as a scientist and refused to have a telephone in his study (source).

It goes both ways.

If it’s urgent to you, it’s urgent to me.

Let’s say you and I are working together on a project. You express a sense of urgency to get it completed. I understand the urgent nature of your request, and furthermore, I embrace it. I get to work right away.

When urgent things come up, you drop what you’re doing to give them attention. Just like I put other projects on hold to work on your urgent one.

So, remember how I said it goes both ways?

My point is this

If you approach someone with an urgent matter, and they respond or deliver very quickly to meet your request, you should respond back just as quickly, with the same sense of urgency. It’s hypocritical – not to mention, rude – to expect someone to drop what they are doing to take care of something for you, and then you take your time getting back to them.

Here’s an example

If you assign a project to me at 6pm, and it needs to launch at 12noon the next day, and I finish it & email it to you at 10pm later that night… I should hear back from you first thing in the morning. I shouldn’t have to call you at 9:45am to see what’s going on.

When I speak with you in the morning, and you tell me you have looked at the work, and sent it to multiple people to review, a simple email confirming you received it is all that is needed.

In conclusion

If you tell someone else it’s urgent, it better be urgent to you—and it should stay like that all the way through to completion.

Public vs. Private

One would think public vs. private is common knowledge – common sense, if you will.

It’s taught to us by our parents, right alongside the difference between yes & no, left & right, right & wrong.

Yeah, so did I. Until today.

I went out to run a few errands – out in public, where most errands are run – and it was one thing after another. I love human beings. Being human is what makes this world so amazing to live in each day. But sometimes,

human beings lack common sense.

When you’re in a public place (especially a business setting), turn your cell phone ringer off. Or turn it down. Change it to vibrate.

Or at least change the ringtone so it’s not that annoying techno beat DJ Underground mixed in the basement of The Tobacco Company.

When you’re at home, it can flash lights, wave streamers & set off fireworks for all I care. But when in public, respect those around you.

What’s that about the grocery store

While the cell phone etiquette applies to all public settings, including the grocery store, here is one more I witnessed today.

When you’re finished with your cart, return it to it’s proper area. Either leave it in the store or put it in the cart return. Don’t leave it in a parking space.

First off, it’s not even your cart. It belongs to the store.

Secondly, I don’t ride over to your house and leave my bike in the middle of your driveway, do I?

And in that example, I’m only disrespecting you. By leaving your cart in the space, you’re disrespecting the grocery store AND everyone else who shops there. Don’t you remember when you were a kid and Mom said, “Put your toys away.”? You should have listened.

All about the benjamins? I don’t think so. Look behind you.

When you’re at the ATM machine, and the line is several cars deep, let’s just finish the transaction and move along.

Balance your check books & file your paperwork 100 ft in front of you… in that empty parking space right there.

The friendly wave

When driving, if someone goes out of their way to stop and let you go, please acknowledge. A wave. A smile. Something that lets us know you are human and have feelings.

Your blank stare says, “I don’t care”… and it makes me want to smash my head on the dashboard.

Show me a sign of life. Please.

End it with a smile

On a much more positive note – because we should end everything with a smile – I helped a man while I was out running errands. In the grocery store, a man in a motorized cart needed some tea on the top shelf. He couldn’t reach it so he kindly asked if I could grab it for him. A helping hand & one big smile later, he got his tea.

And the best part… get this. He said thank you. :-)

…do you wave back?

It might just brighten their day.

Or are you the random person doing the waving?

You should try doing both. I bet you’ll smile :-)

This is a collection of my favorite Dean Karnazes’ quotes from his book, Ultramarathon Man: Confessions of an all-night runner.

Many of the Dean Karnazes’ quotes from this book inspired me to run my first ultramarathon. I’ll highlight my favorite quotes and briefly discuss what they mean to me.

Buy the book on Amazon »

Dean Karnazes’ quotes from Ultramarathon Man

The difference between school & running – and why Dean chose running.

School was about sitting still and trying to behave as someone explained what the world was like. Running was about going out and experiencing it firsthand.

School brainwashes you to think certain thoughts, act a certain way, and conform to societal norms. School allows for no freedom, no creativity. Running sets me free.

Dean Karnazes quote on running as inspiration

For a kid my age to do what I had just done was almost unthinkable, and I could feel the power in it, the ability to inspire.

This is in reference to a 40+ mile bike ride – without directions – that Dean rode to his grandparents’ house on his twelfth birthday. Although I’ve never done anything that extreme, I do understand the ability to inspire.

Dean’s track coach on how it feels to run hard

If it felt good, you didn’t push hard enough. It’s supposed to hurt like hell.

We all get motivation from somewhere. Dean got some from his track coach.

A fortune cookie once told me…

He who suffers remembers.

I couldn’t agree more. I’m a firm believer in learning from mistakes, and learning the hard way. Whenever I take the easy path, do things the simple way, and make it through unscathed, it just doesn’t have meaning. When I suffer – when it’s difficult – that’s when I get something from the experience.

Blowing off the President of the United States

When ex-president Nixon would pass Dean & friends on the beach, and ask about the water, Dean would respond, “Good, Mr. President,” and leave it at that. Dean thought:

No need to shoot the breeze with Nixon when the surfing was so great.

When you’d rather do something you love than talk to the President, you have big things of your own to accomplish. This is a great indicator of success.

Karnazes quote on human body vs. human spirit

When Dean Karnazes told his coach his legs felt weird, his coach replied, “Don’t run with your legs. Run with your heart.”

The human body has limitations; the human spirit is boundless.

Most ultrarunners understand this well. For me, running ultramarathons is not just physical & mental, but spiritual as well.

Dean Karnazes on his early corporate lifestyle

I was moving fast, that was for sure, but was I moving forward? I needed a sense of purpose and clarity—and, perhaps, adventure.

I was moving fast at my job for 2.5 years. But when I finally stopped moving forward, I quit. Everyone needs purpose & clarity. Ultrarunners also need adventure.

Karnazes on life’s lessons

As I limped around my office, trying to appear natural, I reminded myself that pain and suffering are often catalysts for life’s most profound lessons.

Dean on being a champion

…that the Western States Endurance Run would be primarily about one thing: not giving up. It really didn’t matter how long it took to get the job done; what mattered was getting it done. This was an exploration into the possibilities of self. Being a champion meant not quitting, no matter how tough the situation became, and no matter how badly the odds seemed stacked against you. If you had the courage, stamina, and persistence to cross the finish line, you were a champion.

Many ultrarunners, myself included, run against the course. Time isn’t important. It’s the journey to the finish that matters.

Dean Karnazes on the simplicity of running

I’d also come to recognize that the simplicity of running was quite liberating…“Things” don’t bring happiness…A runner doesn’t need much…Perhaps in needing less, you’re actually getting more.

This is why I still struggle to get on the bike. The simplicity of running is one of it’s greatest attractions.

Karnazes quote on lifes’ goals being so clearly defined

…at least I knew what was expected of me. There would be a starting line, and 100 miles from that a finish line…the rules of engagement were clear…no hidden meanings or mixed messages. Just run, and don’t stop. If I made it 100 miles, I’d succeed. If I didn’t, I’d fail.

Again with the simplicity. Time isn’t important. Just go out and get a job done.

Dean Karnazes on the moment he became a changed man

It struck me in the space of a few steps that my past as I knew it had suddenly ceased to exist. Nothing would ever be the same to me from this point on. I’d been profoundly transformed by this journey, in ways I had yet to understand…I was more capable than I imagined, better than I ever thought I could be.

Dean Karnazes & his hunger for adventure

If it required strength, stamina, and a lack of better judgment, I was game.

Karnazes on the impossible

When asked what kept him going during the South Pole Marathon, Dean replied:

Easy. It is what I lived for. The adventure. The challenge of pushing the human body beyond reality. Not only had a marathon to the South Pole never been run before, but plenty of people doubted it could be done, said it would be impossible. I was out to prove that it could be done, regardless of how irrational, how improbable, how dangerous the effort was.

Dean truly believes that nothing is impossible. You can’t not respect that.

Dean on pain & suffering

People think I’m crazy to put myself through such torture, though I would argue otherwise. Somewhere along the line we seem to have confused comfort with happiness. I’ve now come to believe that quite the opposite is the case. Never are my senses more engaged than when the pain sets in. There is magic in misery. Just ask any runner.

Well, he’s asking you. What do you think?

Dean Karnazes on the pursuit of a passion

Running has taught me that the pursuit of a passion matters more than the passion itself. Immerse yourself in something deeply and with heartfelt intensity – continually improve, never give up – this is fulfillment, this is success.

I’m not sure I understand the pursuit mattering more than the passion itself, but there is no better way to find fulfillment than immersing yourself in something deeply. Any passionate runner person can testify.

Why Dean Karnazes runs

I’m not giving it all away. You should buy the book for a more complete answer, but he does say this:

I run because long after my footprints fade away, maybe I will have inspired a few to reject the easy path…and come to the same conclusion I did: I run because it always takes me where I want to go.

If I missed any of your favorite Ultramarathon Man quotes, I’d love to hear them. You can post them in the comments.

Visit Dean’s official site or check him out on Wikipedia.

Nonsense. Sure you do.

I just saw someone say to a friend on Facebook, “I don’t know how you do it,” to the fact that she had run 20+ miles. Truth is, she probably does know. She is just choosing to be awed by it instead.

Don’t get me wrong. 20+ miles for anyone, even an ultrarunner, is no walk in the park. It’s a solid run, and it deserves respect. But it’s not super-human, and the fact is, you could do it too… if you want to.

So how do we run 20+ miles?

Consistency. Hard work. Persistence. Passion. Training.

It’s all the same stuff that made you good at raising your kids. Playing the piano. Even tying your own shoes (well, maybe except for the passion).

We choose running. You may choose something else. But the things that get us there are very much the same.

You consistently work hard at something. You persevere through the hard times, keep training (repetition & practice). And you absolutely love doing it.

That’s a recipe for success no matter what you choose in life.

To all the nay-sayers, non-believers, critics & the doubtful,

I always knew you were wrong. But now I have proof.

An ultrarunning buddy of mine, Peter, now provides proof (by way of 2 grandmother endurance junkies) that ultrarunning is not destroying my body. It only enriches my mind, body & spirit, and adds energy & excitement to my life.

Barb Macklow (age 76) of Bellingham, WA completed the Umstead 100-mile run at age 74. Her running partner, Vicki Griffiths (age 67), recently completed the Rocky Raccoon 100-mile run in just under 30 hours. Yeah. That’s why they call them the “Grandmothers of Endurance.”

Some of you (especially the personal trainers & physical therapists among you) have told me that my running habits will lead to health problems down the road. More specifically, knee, hip, ankle and other joint issues.

I usually reply, “Well, maybe I will, but I enjoy it now, and I’ll worry about that when I get there.” While this remains true, I now have 2 young ladies I can use as an example. If Barb can complete a 100-mile race on 74-year-old joints, I think I’ve got quite a few miles left on these legs before I need to worry.

Watch this video, and then try to tell me that ultrarunning is bad for my body. I’ll just say, “Look at what it has done for them.”

Grandmothers of Endurance Video

Barb is exactly 50 years older than I am today. Here’s to another 50 years of pure ultrarunning bliss… whether you want to believe it or not.

Running Wild,
Dave

P.S. – I know there are more ultrarunning grandmothers (and grandfathers) out there, and when I find them, you’ll be the first to know.

Here is an incredible typography rendition of Taylor Mali’s “Speak With Conviction” video, created by Ronnie Bruce.

Taylor Mali’s delivery is unique. It’s passionate. His love for words is apparent. His love for education & teaching is even greater.

Learn more about  Taylor’s mission to create 1,000 new teachers in the world.

And think about what Taylor says in the video. I think we could all do a better job of speaking with conviction, don’t you?

(thanks to Sam for showing it to me)

As I sat and watched John Isner & Nicolas Mahut do battle yesterday at Wimbledon (and the day before, and the day before that), I found myself rooting for Mahut.

I know. I’m American, so clearly I should be pulling for Isner, right? It seemed like every American was pulling for Isner. And when the match ended, most people congratulated Isner on his victory, but failed to mention Mahut.

I guess I just see things differently. When it comes to international sports, I don’t care what country you are from. If it’s American sports, I don’t care what city you play in. I grew up just outside of Philly, and used to follow all the Philly teams: Sixers, Phillies, Flyers, Eagles. But all that has changed.

Sure, in the World Cup, I would like to see the U.S. do well. And I do root for them. But if a scrappy, underdog, third-world nation, cindarella story comes out of nowhere, I’d love to see them pull off the upset.

Isner is seeded #23. Mahut unseeded. Isner served first in the final set. Mahut had to serve 60+ times just to stay in the match. Isner leads the tour in aces. Who knows where Mahut ranks in that department?

But Mahut is in phenomenal shape. The guy could play for days without getting tired. His heart, passion, persistence, will to survive, relentless effort… it’s admirable. It also happens to be really fun to watch.

Who’s “my team?” I don’t have one.

I don’t have a team… or a favorite player, favorite city or favorite country. I don’t pick sides based on geography or nationality. As far as I’m concerned, we all live on planet Earth, and we are all human beings.

I root for the passionate. The underdog. The hard-worker fighting the uphill battle. The guy who sacrifices his body. The relentless. The one with an unparalleled love for her sport, and respect for the game. The first one to arrive. And the last one to leave.

At the end of the day

Because at the end of the day, there is so much more to life than the city where you grew up, the country where you live and the jersey on your back. It’s what’s inside all of that that really matters.

My kitchen lightbulb was flickering so I called maintenance to come take a look. The guy says, condescendingly, “Oh, it’s probably these green tips.” When I asked what he meant by that, he said, “The green tip bulbs are more environmentally friendly, but they aren’t compatible with our light fixtures.”

He has no idea how much I love the environment.

The Lesson

He could just as easily have said, “Our light fixtures are not compatible with the green tip bulbs.” He choose to place blame on the bulbs for not being compatible. I would argue it’s the light fixture causing the issue.

If you love the environment, or even remotely care about our future, you probably agree with me. But that’s not the point.

There are two perspectives to almost every situation. Neither is right. Neither is wrong. Understanding this will help you keep an open mind, and leave the door open for possibility.

Ultrarunners get this a lot. Whenever we tell someone about our training or a race we have coming up, the response is often “that’s crazy” or “you’re crazy.” I used to respond, “Yes, I know, I’m aware I’m a little crazy.” But I don’t believe that anymore.

It was all crazy at one point

Driving a car

When you were 14, driving a car was crazy. There was no way you (and especially your parents) could see you operating a piece of machinery at 70mph, navigating through 3 lanes of traffic. That was just crazy. Today you drive your car everyday, multiple times per day, thousands of miles each year, without a second thought.

Roller-coasters

When you were 8 you’d go to the theme park with your family. The super-twisty-flipper-coaster, you know, the one that had 6 loops, 2 corkscrews and all the warnings about people with heart conditions? That was crazy. Now you’ve rode one, you’ve rode them all.

Crazy is just a roadmap

I used to think a marathon was crazy, until I ran one. Same thing with a 50-miler. But crazy is just a roadmap. It guides you through life, helps carve a path and define a journey. And the coolest part: you are the one who determines whether something is “crazy” or not. No one else has any say.

I recently decided to train for a 100 mile race this coming June. I’ve had several friends tell me that’s nuts. But really, it’s just a passion I’ve been hiding for the past few years. Now that I’m living out that passion, people are noticing. And it’s the recognition from others that validates what I’m doing. We all have things that make us appear a little crazy. If you haven’t had someone tell you “that’s nuts” lately, maybe it’s time you start pursuing your passion.

When you’re young, you celebrate the act of getting older. It’s exciting. You look forward to it.

At 13, you become a teenager. You officially have an obligation to disobey everything your parents tell you.

At 16, you have a huge party and get your driver’s license. Every parent’s nightmare. Every kid’s dream.

At 18, you’re officially an adult. With 21 comes the alcohol. And maybe the last milestone is the car rental privilege at 25.

After that, you dread adding another year to your age. Instead of looking forward to your next birthday, you do everything you can to prevent it from happening. And when you realize it can’t be prevented, you deny it.

The Alternative

Here’s what you should do instead. Celebrate your youth. At 40 years old, you’re not old. You’re mature, you’re experienced. But for many of you, you’re just getting started. Celebrate the relationships you’ve built, and the many fun years ahead. Celebrate your health, and the great shape you’ve kept your body in. Celebrate your mind, what you’ve taught yourself, and how you’ve learned and grown. Celebrate your spouse, your kids, your grandkids.

And maybe the most important thing to celebrate is what you have not yet achieved. Set a goal (or two or three) that feeds your passion. You’ll start looking forward to that extra candle on your cake each year because it will, once again, have meaning.

Today I turn 25.

I celebrate at least 75 more years of life.

Rock on.